1) When you're 1000 feet in the air, it is deathly quiet up there.
2) I am still able to fall asleep in the shower standing up.
3) No matter how much exposure to the sun I get, my burn will heal over night (because I'm a genius)
4) Silk boxers are absolutely worth $10 a pair.
5) Vanilla Coke is still the best beverage to date
6) Rapping with asians is a load of fun.. even at 1 in the morning.
7) Old man, just because you wear speedos at the beach does not mean it will blot out your pale, pale skin, your bald head, big stomach and pimp-walk to the ladies. As a matter of fact it makes people laugh at you.
8) Pigeons are the stupidest bird in the world
9) Jellyfish don't hurt as much as people think. Although I'm still getting random seconds of numbness and total uselessness in my hands, it isn't that bad considering how long it was tangled in there for.
10) USA has some of the worst drivers in the world
11) Dodge Journey is the worst vehicle for 5 people and luggage. My prayers go out to anyone above 5'5" tall who gets stuck in the back seat
12) I can infact get a tan
13) Trailer Park Boys is a great way to pass the time during a 14 hour car ride.
14) You're never too far away from friends
15) While on the serving table: If it smells bad and looks disgusting chances are it won't taste that good
16) Fat people will make fun of other fat people- even if they don't know them
17) Hottubs are heaven
18) I passed for 18 in America
19) Pale girls (and some tanned ones, might I add) check out pale guys
20) There is no place like my mancave
21) The Nacho plate is Taco Bell's version of Jenga. If you pull the wrong chip out your hand gets covered in either tomato, sour cream, beans, meat, or a combination of everything
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